


Because I Had You

by rosebud_boy



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, I'm kind of making this up as I go along, M/M, Magic Exists, Mentions of Blood, Penelope Bunce is a Good Friend, Prince Simon, Princess Agatha, Swearing, baz is gay for simon, but none of them are magicians, i can't write, i think, idk how to tag, the mage is the king, vampire baz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosebud_boy/pseuds/rosebud_boy
Summary: Prince Simon Snow has his whole life planned out ahead of him. The planning hadn't been done by him of course, it was all his father, but it was still planned nonetheless. Simon is expected to do what he's told, and to always follow the plan. But when he's put into an arranged marriage with Princess Agatha, Simon doesn't know if he can live up to his father's expectations anymore. Especially when he meets his supposed mortal enemy with startling grey eyes and a wicked grin.





	Because I Had You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome to my first ever published fic! I've had this idea stuck in my brain for a while, so I decided to write it. I didn't originally plan to publish this, but I liked the end result more than any other piece I've ever written, and wanted to share it. I don't know how many chapters there will be, but I really hope I can finish it before school starts again and before Wayward Son comes out in September. So, I hope you like it! (Title is from Shawn Mendes' song 'Because I Had You')

"Good news, Son," the king said. His elbows were resting precariously along the edge of the table and Simon was more interested in seeing if they would slip off than whatever his father had to say.

There was really only a slim chance of it being something interesting anyway, the king had a mad glint in his eyes that only showed up when he was talking about official business or other things that made Simon want to go to sleep.

Simon felt especially uninterested this morning, because he was bored and the kitchen staff hadn't bothered to make scones, which put him in a less than ideal mood. Definitely not a mood to listen to his father's obsession with running a kingdom. Or to even pretend that he cared. 

Simon lazily shifted his eyes to his father's mousey face and raised his eyebrows in response. The king must have been in good spirits, because he didn't reprimand the prince for not using his words. Instead, the king grinned and locked his fingers together, elbows still on the edge of the tabletop.

"I've been sending letters back and forth with the king and queen of Cyre for the past few months." Simon felt an urge to zone out right away. "That might not seem like much," the king continued. "But it gets better. They've agreed to marry Princess Agatha off to you!"

Simon was definitely paying attention now. He almost knocked over his glass of water, he sat up so quickly. "What?"

"Isn't that great?" His father exclaimed. "Simon, the Wellbeloves are coming to visit tomorrow to get some of the details out of the way, and for you to meet with Agatha again. It's been a couple of years since you've seen each other, hasn't it? What was the last time? Was it that ball where you ate half of the biscuits?" 

Simon nodded gingerly, as if nodding too hard would make more sudden and out of nowhere things happen. Getting married? Getting married to Agatha? The thought was alien in his brain.

His father laughed a bit forcefully. “I hope you drop that kind of behavior before your wedding, Son, because I don’t know if the princess will take you if you still act like a child.”

Simon didn’t point out that Agatha had thought it was funny that he had eaten so many biscuits. His mind was still rolling out the reality that he would be marrying his childhood friend. Friend. He hadn’t ever even considered her as being more in the future. She was just the friendly girl from another kingdom who he used to play make-believe with at parties and events during his childhood. God. Agatha Wellbelove. 

“When would the wedding be?” Simon asked, trying to force himself back into the conversation with his father. 

His father laughed again. “Well, someone’s excited. The Wellbeloves and I haven’t quite hashed out the details, but the queen said that before autumn would be preferred.”

It was the middle of spring now. Simon would be married within the next six months. 

Simon nodded politely, and pushed his plate forwards on the table, signifying that he was done, even though he still had half a serving of food left. “May I be excused?” He asked. Simon felt worlds away. I must just be excited, he tried to tell himself.

The king nodded curtly. “Yes, yes, go do whatever it is you do. But don’t forget about your lessons at eleven and three. Madame Possibelf says your Latin and maths have been lacking as of late. Don’t let yourself go stupid, Son.” He waved the prince away, and grabbed the papers sitting in the chair beside him. 

Simon didn’t really know where to go. He also didn’t know what to think. “I’m marrying Princess Agatha Wellbelove,” he said to himself out loud, once he was in the hallway. It didn’t make it feel more real. Or more right. 

It definitely wasn’t that he didn’t like Agatha, they had been friends since they were children. It was that that’s all they had ever been in Simon’s head. Friends. After seeing her every couple of months, his mind didn’t really ever wander back to her when they weren’t together. She was nice, but she was an isolated event from Simon’s regular life. It sounded mean to think, but she only mattered to him during the times which he saw her. That was it. 

It also wasn’t that it would be awful to marry her. Agatha was known for her beauty throughout the realms, and she had always been kind and sweet towards Simon. And there was no doubt in his mind that it would be good for their separate kingdoms, the Wellbeloves of Cyre were very wealthy, and were probably paying his father handsomely. But something about the whole situation just felt wrong to Simon. His stomach was tied in a knot just thinking about the wedding. 

“I’m just excited,” he attempted to convince himself again. Still, nothing changed. Simon didn’t know what to do.

\---

“Hey, Simon,” Penelope said as he entered the servants’ quarters. Penelope was sitting at the tiny circular table that was sat in the middle of the room, reading one of her newest books. She was off duty today, you could tell because her dark hair wasn’t pulled up into a bun. Instead it flowed down her shoulders and back in nice, clean waves. Her glasses were pushed up her forehead, which Simon didn’t think she knew she had done. When he had walked in, she had barely looked up at him, so her book must have been especially fascinating to her. Penelope was usually the multitasking master. 

“Hi, Penny,” Simon said. He sat down in a chair next to her and quietly folded his hands on the table. He didn’t know why he had come here, he didn’t really want to talk to Penelope about the whole wedding business. Not that she would be interested in talking right now. 

They sat there in silence for a good couple of minutes. Simon’s eyes flicked around the room, looking at the furniture and things that he had seen a million times over. This was the main room of the servant’s quarters, but it wasn’t that big. It was about the size of Simon’s walk-in-closet. There were different doors leading to different rooms, but Simon hadn’t ever been through any of them. When he and Penelope had first become friends, when they were about six, it had been such a fuss that the prince be allowed into the staff’s area. He remembered Mrs. Bunce, Penny’s mum, had practically thrown a fit. 

“It’s not right for the prince to be back here!” She had exclaimed. She had been talking to Penelope like Simon wasn’t standing right next to her. “He shouldn’t have to spend time in this pigsty. It’s just not how things go.”

They had eventually come to the compromise that Simon could be in the main room, but the back rooms were prohibited to him. Mrs. Bunce still seemed uncomfortable every time she saw him sitting with Penelope here, but she never said a word about it. 

Simon was sitting with Penny now, and he was planning on getting up to leave, but Penny tilted her head up away from her book and sighed with an air of defeat. She turned to him. “Simon,” she said in a tired voice. “I can practically hear the gears turning in your head. Are you going to talk about whatever’s on your mind?”

Simon looked at his hands. “It’s really not important, and I don’t want to bother you. How’s your book?” He felt stupid for asking. 

Apparently Penelope thought he was stupid for asking too. “Don’t change the subject. What’s wrong?” 

Simon tugged on his fingers. “Did you know that the Wellbeloves are visiting tomorrow?”

“I knew someone was coming, but not specifically them,” Penny said patiently. “We got extra cleaning schedules for tomorrow morning. Why are they visiting anyways? Boring kingdom stuff? Is your father finally dragging you into the official business?” 

“Sort of,” Simon didn’t want to look up at Penny but he did anyways. “My dad, uh. He arranged with the Wellbeloves for me to marry Agatha. The wedding will probably be in the summer.”

Penelope gaped for a second. For once in her life she looked dumbstruck. “Holy shit,” she breathed. She didn’t say anything for a moment before she wrinkled her nose. “Isn’t Agatha that air-head with pixie heritage? The one who left her shoes here?” Penelope looked disgusted.

“No, that’s Trixie, from Middle Campton, I think. Agatha is princess of Cyre.”

“The pretty one? She’s not much of a catch either, if you ask me.” Penny said matter-of-factly. Simon’s stomach lurched. He ignored it. 

“She’s plenty good of a catch,” Simon said, feeling defensive, but not knowing why. He wished he could just figure himself out, he was really out of it today. “She’s pretty, and nice, and I’ve known her for a long time.”

Penelope pursed her lips. “Simon,” she started, and she had that tone to her voice that irritated the hell out of him. The tone that meant she thought she knew more than whomever she was talking to. Which she probably did. “Do you really want to go through with this? Do you even know this girl that well?”

Simon sat back in his chair. “I don’t really have much of a choice, do I?” 

Penelope grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

Simon shook his head. “Maybe I’m just being overdramatic.”

“Maybe you’re not.”

Simon didn’t know what to say. Penny didn’t seem to either. So she just put a reassuring hand on his. 

\---

Agatha was just like he remembered, but with an older, quieter attitude now. She was very polite, she must have really been trained to have good manners. The princess only spoke when spoken to, kept her hands folded in her lap, never put her elbows on the table. Agatha’s cornsilk yellow hair was styled into a nice updo, and Simon was pretty sure there were tiny gems in her hair. That, or it was just really sparkly. Agatha wore a slim, sky blue dress with puffy sleeves at the shoulders. She had been wearing white gloves, but had pulled them off when they had sat down for dinner. Tiny pearl pendants glittered at her ears. She looks just as uncomfortable as I feel, was Simon’s only thought about her. 

Simon, his father, and the Wellbeloves were all sitting in the dining hall. Simon’s dad was at the head of the table, the king and queen of Cyre to either side of him. They had made Simon sit next to Agatha, who was to the left of her father. It had made the table be uneven in Simon’s mind, and all he wanted to do was sit across from Agatha. Not to look at her, but just to get away. Agatha’s mum kept looking at them and cooing admiration, saying things like “Aren’t they just precious together? They’ll make such a cute couple. I can’t believe my Aggie is getting married!” It made Simon feel like he was about five years old. 

Right now he was just trying to get through dinner, then he could go hang out with Penelope and pretend like it hadn’t happened. He would pretend that he didn’t even know Agatha, at least until he had to see her again. But that wasn’t going to be for another couple of weeks now. 

Simon’s father was starting to get drunk off of the mead that he’d ordered a servant to get him. His face was flushing a bit, and he was laughing more than usual. 

“Of course,” he was saying to Agatha’s mum. “We’ll have Liriasa and Cyre’s trade synced immediately. Can’t have anyone, especially those goddamn bloodsucking Grimms, think that we have a weak alliance. We’ll have the two strongest kingdoms of every realm!”

The king of Cyre chuckled, and looked at Simon and his daughter. “It’s all thanks to those two,” He lifted his glass. “To Simon and Agatha.”

The other adults at the table lifted their glasses as well. “To Simon and Agatha!”

Simon couldn’t help but notice how Agatha pursed her lips. 

\---

It was nearing eleven, and the conversation was only starting to die down. Simon was sure that he was going to miss his window of opportunity to hang out with Penelope. He wished he could tell her as much, as she kept coming to the table to fill up the water glasses. But Simon wasn’t really supposed to talk to the servants during meals, except to ask for something. Instead, he just gave Penny apologetic glances every time she walked into the room. He hated treating her like a servant, and not his best friend. 

Agatha was losing her good posture a bit next to him, she was probably getting tired. Simon was getting tired too. He wished that his dad would stop talking about business. 

“You two looked bored,” Agatha’s mum said suddenly, looking between Simon and Agatha. “Why don’t the both of you go to the drawing room and chat amongst yourselves?”

“Are you sure that’s a wise idea, Eva?” the king of Cyre questioned. Simon honestly felt a bit offended. 

The queen scoffed. “Good Lord, Peter, Simon isn’t just some boy whom I’m sending off with our daughter. I trust him.” She grinned at him. Simon didn’t really know if he appreciated it or not.  
He looked towards his father to see what he thought. His dad waved them off, like he always did to Simon after meals. “Go on then,” he droned. 

Simon stood up, relieved to stretch his legs. Agatha got up too, but with more grace then Simon could ever conjure up. She carefully folded the napkin in her lap, and set it on her chair. Simon was waiting in the doorway so that he could show her the way to the drawing room. 

They walked down the halls silently, not a single word getting passed between them. Simon felt like he was suffocating in the silence, but he didn’t exactly want to say anything. 

They got to the drawing room, and Simon sat in the red armchair by the window. Agatha sat carefully on the bench of the grand piano. She did everything carefully, as if she were afraid to break something. Or herself. She was thin and frail enough that Simon could imagine that it was possible. 

It was silent again for a moment before Agatha took it upon herself to shatter the quiet. “How are you, Simon? You look well.” Her voice was soft and light, like a cloud. 

He felt stupid out of nowhere. His face was starting to burn. “I’m good. You?” He was talking with minimal sentences. Penny always said that’s what tipped her off that he was nervous. 

Agatha nodded. “I’m fine, thank you.” She shuffled her feet for a second, rearranging them and staring at the floor. “I suppose we should address the elephant in the room?” 

Simon was perfectly fine with letting the elephant be. But he still said, “Yeah, I suppose.”

Agatha sighed, but it was just as graceful as everything else she did. She turned her head inquisitively and asked quietly, “Do you even want to get married, Simon? It’s a rather large step. I know we aren’t that well acquainted.”

Simon swallowed. He still felt stupid. He wished his words would just come out. “I really don’t mind,” he said. It felt like a lie. “I really enjoy spending time with you.” He was surprised that his voice hadn’t fumbled. 

Agatha smiled. She seemed a bit flustered now, like she’d really liked that comment. “I enjoy spending time with you too. Do you remember that Christmas ball, two years ago, when you ate so many biscuits and your father got mad?” She had a slight laugh to her voice now. 

Simon felt the tips of his ears heat up like they were on fire. “I wish people would stop bringing that up.” Agatha laughed again, and her dark eyes sparkled. 

“You’re just as funny as I remember.” She tucked a small strand of her hair behind her ear. She sat up even straighter and rolled her shoulders a little. Simon felt really antsy, almost like he was stuck. “What are you studying?” Agatha asked, flowing the conversation onto a new topic. 

Simon hated talking about his studies. It was the ultimate form of small talk. “Writing, realm history, Latin, and maths.”

Agatha grinned. “I love maths. Do you?”

Simon shifted in his seat. “Um...Not really, no.”

Agatha’s smile dropped. “Oh.”

It was silent again. 

“Agatha?” a voice called from the corridor. It was the queen. 

“We’re in here, Mum.” Agatha responded. 

The queen entered the doorway. In the light of the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, Agatha looked nothing like her mother. The queen was too short, and her shoulders were slightly broad, while Agatha was too thin to have very wide shoulders. The queen also had a round face, while Agatha’s was long and thin. “Come on, Love,” The queen said. “I hate to drag you away from Simon, but we’re going back to Cyre.”

“Alright,” Agatha said. She didn’t seem that torn up about leaving. She grabbed her dress as not to trip and headed for the door. Before exiting, she turned around. “Goodbye, Simon.”

Simon waved, which felt really dumb. “Bye, Agatha.”

The queen smiled to herself, then left the room with her daughter. 

Simon sat there for a little while after that, his mind still racing at a hundred miles per hour. You have to get married to Agatha, he thought. He wanted his brain to shut up. 

He had never imagined it like this. He had always thought that he would meet a girl that would light up his life, one who he loved with his whole soul. He didn’t think he would have to marry his childhood acquaintance. 

Simon was still sitting there when Penelope peeked her head into the room. “There you are, I was wondering where you had gone off to.” She walked into the room with that Penny Confidence that nobody else had. She sat down quickly on the piano bench. It was such a difference to Agatha’s careful movements. “How’d it go?” Penelope asked. 

Simon shrugged. “Alright, I guess.”

“So it sucked then,”

Simon laughed. “Yeah, kind of.”

Penny grimaced. “Was it awkward?”

“Horrendously so.”

“Oh my God,” Penny laughed. “Did she talk about the weather?”

Simon shook his head. “No. But she tried to talk about our studies.”

Penelope snickered. “Oh my God,” she repeated. “She really does not know you at all. This marriage thing is a total joke! No offense to the king, but this was a horrible idea.”

Simon breathed out a laugh. “Yeah,” he said quietly. When it came down to it, he really didn’t want to spend another second with goddamned Agatha Wellbelove. She had been good company when they were younger, and she was plenty polite and kind, but they had absolutely nothing in common. Simon felt a sinkhole grow in his stomach just thinking about the wedding. 

Penelope must have noticed his change in attitude. “Hey,” she said simply. “Want to hang out longer tomorrow?”

Simon stared. “You have off of work again?”

“No. Just don’t want to work, and want to spend more time with you. Consequences be damned.” she shrugged like it was no big deal. 

Simon considered. “What would we even do?”

Penny smiled. “The market. I want to buy a new book and see Micah.”

Simon nodded. “That sounds good. Sorry if I’m a downer though, my head might still be on the whole marriage deal.” He would try to be upbeat tomorrow, but he wasn’t as good of a multitasker as Penelope. 

She huffed. “Look, Simon, if you buy a book for me, I promise I’ll try to keep your head away from Agatha. Deal”

Simon didn’t really have to think about the offer, he could definitely spare a couple of coins on a book. “Deal,” he said.

**Author's Note:**

> I got all the way through editing this when I realized that I haven't even introduced Baz yet. Whoops. Whatever, he'll be in the next chapter. I think I'll update this in the next couple of days, but I will be traveling so sorry if it's a week before the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
